Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
November 14, 2010
File Size
188 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
340
Favourites
13 (who?)
Comments
9
Downloads
9
×
I am the river living
in the dam, building
rain-
drops
in-
to
a body
One from the vaults.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconnaseni:
Subtle but impactful
Reply
:iconbeaple:
This is a personal favorite of mine. The best thing I've written in over a year, in my opinion. It needs something - a new title, I think - to really give it "purpose". I've got great actors, an awesome script, amazing camera work, but not much plot. Without mucking about with the poem itself, I think a new title would really help with the atmosphere - something about the future intentions of this river building a body (which really sounds like it's building an army).

As it stands, it's all ominous with no promise.
Perhaps the poem itself will build.
Reply
:iconyouinventedme:
we are mostly water
Reply
:iconelle-oh-elle:
The Beaple vaults- thought lost to mankind forever, were recently rediscovered by a crack team of poet-archeologists. It is said that on opening the vaults, three of the five members were killed instantly, minds overwhelmed. Now the question remains... is the vault cursed? Or was it the concentrated beauty, locked beyond mortal eyes for so long, that killed them?

We may never know, but bring you now what these dedicated men and women struggled and suffered to uncover: the riverbends.
Reply
:iconiiixii:
IIIXII Apr 22, 2011
:lol: This.
Reply
:iconsinewscurse:
Love it :floating:
Reply
:iconiiixii:
IIIXII Nov 14, 2010
Yeah, you still got it. :nod:
Reply
Add a Comment: